Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Suit Up and Show Up

One of the things that is hard right now is work, or rather my attitude about work. I don’t feel very motivated. I know that I have “a lot on my plate” as everyone tells me. But I struggle to have this fraud or imposter syndrome now have real fuel. I am supposed to be the ambassador and champion for my organization but I don’t feel it and have to make myself really be present every day.

I have talked to my therapist and to friends—all the “You have a lot on your plate”. But still, what to do?

I borrow this from Alcoholics Anonymous: “Suit Up and Show Up.”

So each day I dress for work. Dress as if I care; dress as if I really mean it; dress as if I have the motivation, passion and commitment. Dressing the part does seem to help. But under that? I still worry.

What will happen if my energy and interest in work does not come back?

It doesn’t help that John loves his work and goes out of his way to go to work even though he has cancer and chemo and doesn’t feel well.

Yesterday his doctor offered him a doctor’s note. Kind of a hall pass for grown-ups or a Get out of jail free card. I laughed and asked if I could have one. I wasn’t kidding.

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