Rainy Day

It’s cold and rainy inside and out today. In therapy I talk about my family—again, and my father--again. I feel distracted at work, not focusing on things that matter. My friend Liesl calls to say she is exhausted. Her mother is dying of cancer and there are so many doctors and so many appointments. Another friend is deciding whether to take a big job. It’s the top of her career but it means a move. Another friend is at the end of her divorce process---three years after many more years of finding out in painful layers that her husband had a secret life. Maybe it’s a rainy day for everyone. I want the sun to come back and I want my own joy and peace to return. I am wondering if I have to leave this relationship to find that sun again. I can barely breathe when I think about that.