Friday, January 9, 2009

Talking About Sex

Did you watch Oprah today? I came home early just to see Sex 101 with Dr. Laura Berman and it was worth it just to get the foreplay map…a little sketch of a cutout doll and the exercise is to mark where you want to be stimulated and your partner marks where he/she thinks you want to be stimulated then hey hey—compare drawings. Then do the other person’s zones.

Yes to estrogen, vibrators, pole dancing and changing the inner voices and it’s all good stuff. But since this blog is about love and cancer let me tell you that it gets to be a special challenge when you throw in surgery, chemotherapy, medications and yes, the side by side effects!

Oprah’s message from today’s Sex 101 is: Tell the Truth and that is probably the hardest part of love (and sex) in the time of cancer but even though I have sobbed (and sobbed and sobbed) about my fears related to this part of our life I have also felt something in me shift. I want intimacy and I want a good sex life and I want that good sex in this relationship. So it means some unbelievably frank talk (with John not Frank of course) and it means some risky and frisky adaptations. But what I realized today watching Oprah is that this relationship is based on some amazingly risky choices and shocking decisions so why shouldn’t our sex life include those values as well.

Tonight, I’ll be talking the man talk with my man.

Thanks Oprah!

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