Sunday, January 18, 2009

Maxine has a Tumor

A friend named Maxine has a tumor in her chest. The good news is that it has not metastasized into the chest wall or into her lungs. It is contained. Surgery will remove it and there is no expectation for chemo or radiation. The bad news is that they will break all of her ribs to get at the tumor in surgery. Recovery from the broken ribs and the operation will be very painful.

I worry for her and I dread her pain. Her husband and daughter are afraid. The complication is that she is the wife of my husband’s best friend. They have supported him through the pain of this year. I have kept my contact minimal—knowing they love me and knowing they are wise enough to know that no one is bad in all this. But still. I have wanted to leave them to him and him to them.

Now Maxine has a tumor.

I call. I leave messages. I send a note. I email. It is all good and well received. But here it is again. Another kind of love—Agape not Eros—in the time of cancer.

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