Here is another soft spot or minefield for those who love in the time of cancer. While John is in-between treatments and we live in a kind of honeymoon state…no obvious signs but blood work in thirty days (tick, tick tick…) I read the papers.
This week two cancer stories:
Breast cancer research shows that even the teeniest involvement of a cancer cell in a lymph node signals high probability of recurrence. (They use the word "relapse" but that make cancer sound like an addiction and that it comes back thru the failing of the individual. We blame the victim enough already in cancer, can we not call it “relapse”?)
No John doesn’t have breast cancer but I read (worry) between the lines. He had those cells, he had lymph involvement. Cancer is cancer, right?
Next story is bad testing, errors in labs, so much cancer not caught thru medical error. Ok obvious fear trigger there.
And then he coughs and I get three for three.
Yes, all fear, worry, and my crazy head. But I know the other cancer lovers feel this. It gets us in the heart.
But good news: We are leaving for vacation tomorrow. Two city days for music, museum and food and five beach days for reading, walking, and time to quiet my fearful heart and just be together.
Oh yes, sex too. Lots and lots of vacation sex!
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