Post-Caregiver Let Down

A friend asks me, “Is this post-caregiver let down?” I am full of resentment, sadness, and just plain pissed. Everyone is congratulating him, praising him and asking “how are you?” He is, he says, “Fine, great, just fine.” But I see the lines on my face and the work I have left undone for months, the opportunities passed up, the ways I let go of things that I now have to go back and clean up. It’s not just the doctor’s visits and the worries but the cost to my life. My head haunts me with the Mother mantra: “Selfish, selfish, selfish”, the horrible accusation. Oh well, maybe I am but cancer and caregiving happened to me too. Was I expecting a trophy? No, but maybe thanks or something that sparkles.