No Care for the Caregiver

I feel like I get a big “F” in taking care of myself. I have been good at taking care of him but today: sick, tired, mouth hurting, aching and yes, heart hurting too, I wonder. In my hope to not be selfish, in my desire to be helpful, I forgot that I could lose me. Love in the time of cancer now feels like another kind of cancer. It feels like I have been foolish, blind, squinting, believing lies, wanting to hear what I hoped to hear. I am sad. I need love medicine of my own. But who is my caregiver? I forgot to get that in writing.