When I was in Junior High there was a popular song called “Get Yourself a College Girl”. The boppy, beach-boy lyric went like this: “”Get yourself a college girl, a well-read book, a knowledge girl. Get yourself a coll-edge girl.”
I hummed that song all the time—maybe thinking it was affirmation that skinny but smart girls like me could be just as desirable as my classmate Bethany Springer, who started wearing a bra in Grade Six.
Now I am reading the new book, The Social Animal, by New York Times columnist, David Brooks and last night my eyes were opened by this paragraph:
“Men want to do the same sexual acts regardless of education levels, but female sexual preferences differ by education, culture and status level. Highly educated women are much more likely to perform oral sex, engage in same-sex activity and experiment with a variety of other activities than less-educated women. Religious women are less adventurous than nonreligious women, though the desires of religious men are not much different than those of secular ones.”
I guess a little learning goes—and comes—a long way.
Showing posts with label married men. Show all posts
Showing posts with label married men. Show all posts
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Tiger Time
What do baby seals and Tiger Woods have in common? They both get clubbed by Norwegians!
The jokes, the jokes. But also the questions. Why do men cheat? Why is it more upsetting that Tiger Woods cheats? We want to believe that this perfect golfer, perfect son, perfect athlete is a perfect human being, and so we hate to have our belief in perfection taken away? Maybe. And maybe it’s also telling us that men do not cheat to have sex with a prettier or sexier woman. After all Tiger is married to one of the most beautiful women in the world. Is it entitlement? Evolution—a specimen like Tiger is unconsciously driven to procreate? Is it access—athletes have women propositioning them all the time? Perhaps also we are seeing that a man as cerebral as Tiger didn’t think this through. He’s not a dope but he cheated and left a trail of texts and messages and evidence. He’s a better golfer than that if not a better person.
What will happen next? Will she stand by her man? Will we now see a wicked, expensive public divorce? And what does it mean for the rest of us?
And am I alone or are many woman really mad at the perfectly ordinary man in their life today just on principle?
The jokes, the jokes. But also the questions. Why do men cheat? Why is it more upsetting that Tiger Woods cheats? We want to believe that this perfect golfer, perfect son, perfect athlete is a perfect human being, and so we hate to have our belief in perfection taken away? Maybe. And maybe it’s also telling us that men do not cheat to have sex with a prettier or sexier woman. After all Tiger is married to one of the most beautiful women in the world. Is it entitlement? Evolution—a specimen like Tiger is unconsciously driven to procreate? Is it access—athletes have women propositioning them all the time? Perhaps also we are seeing that a man as cerebral as Tiger didn’t think this through. He’s not a dope but he cheated and left a trail of texts and messages and evidence. He’s a better golfer than that if not a better person.
What will happen next? Will she stand by her man? Will we now see a wicked, expensive public divorce? And what does it mean for the rest of us?
And am I alone or are many woman really mad at the perfectly ordinary man in their life today just on principle?
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Amy Winehouse on Married Men
One of my Christmas gifts from John was the Amy Winehouse Tribute Album. (Amy is important in our life of love and cancer. See the entries to this blog from 7.20.08 and 9.1.08).
She has become a joke to many because of her, shall we say, dissolute ways, and yes, her refusal to go to rehab. But listening to the new album it’s clear the girl has a great voice. She is more chanteuse than rocker, more Edith Piaf than Janis Joplin.
I play the CD over and over. Years ago I listened to and loved the Roaches song about The Married Men and now Amy sings about the married man in her life and the girls in bars constantly disappointed by the married men that they believe in and are then disappointed by. I struggle here too. He is married after all. I squint at that. We are a couple now for years. Some days it doesn’t matter. But then suddenly it does and I am defeated by my own feelings and the force of social culture.
When John and I talk about this it is clear that he doesn’t care. “I love you and I am here, we are a couple, we are committed.” It’s very clear to him that nothing else matters.
I wonder if this will be the breaking point. He doesn’t really get this and until he does he’ll have to go, go, go
She has become a joke to many because of her, shall we say, dissolute ways, and yes, her refusal to go to rehab. But listening to the new album it’s clear the girl has a great voice. She is more chanteuse than rocker, more Edith Piaf than Janis Joplin.
I play the CD over and over. Years ago I listened to and loved the Roaches song about The Married Men and now Amy sings about the married man in her life and the girls in bars constantly disappointed by the married men that they believe in and are then disappointed by. I struggle here too. He is married after all. I squint at that. We are a couple now for years. Some days it doesn’t matter. But then suddenly it does and I am defeated by my own feelings and the force of social culture.
When John and I talk about this it is clear that he doesn’t care. “I love you and I am here, we are a couple, we are committed.” It’s very clear to him that nothing else matters.
I wonder if this will be the breaking point. He doesn’t really get this and until he does he’ll have to go, go, go
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