Saturday, February 7, 2009

We Have Cancer

Through this experience of love in the time of cancer I am learning how much one person’s cancer affects those near them, especially the lover, the partner, the caregiver. But I will always remember that he has cancer, I don’t.

I formed this distinction for my self and this emotional goal on the first day of “Chemo Class”. There were other couples there and other people with family members. The newly diagnosed patients were learning about their chemo and the caregivers were learning a bit of what to expect. The couple across from us was there because the husband was returning. He had a recurrence or a new form of cancer. And when the wife raised her hand to ask a question she said, “When we have chemo….” and I was taken aback by the construction and the word “we”.

No matter how much my life is disrupted or how this affects my work and emotions, and no matter how close this brings us as we deal with all of it, I am very clear that “we” don’t have cancer. But John does.

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