Sex, Yes, Sex

OK, last night was one day after Chemo and we were watching a movie. Just playing around and he put his hand on my breast and that—just like in the old days (meaning before cancer) --that slight touch of breast was all it took. The shirts came off then the bra and then the shorts and then we were on the living room floor. When he kissed me I tasted it. As the touching and tasting progressed I could feel my lips tingling? Was this chemo or my own erotic response? I keep wondering if I am getting his chemo through kissing, tasting, touching. I keep remembering that we teach—or used to teach --teenagers that coitus interruptus really didn’t prevent pregnancy because there could be some ambitious little sperms in the pre-ejaculate fluid that is present during arousal. So too in adults? So too with Chemo? Any tiny bits of chemo agents in that pre-ejaculate fluid? Enough to make a difference?

But there is a better part to this. We felt like lovers. Here is a very tired man, a man with cancer and we are breathing hard and feeling hard and aroused and hungry. So hungry for each other. That in itself has to be life giving and life supporting. How could they not talk about sex? How could the American Cancer Society leave out real talk about sex? This is way better than a workshop on lipstick and wigs. This is way better than anything about nutrition. This is the real food for the soul when you have cancer. This is sex to save your life. Forget pink ribbons and relay for life. Get laid to save your life. Sex cures cancer. Well, at least it gives you life in the midst of it.