I Can See Clearly Now

“Our deepest wounds are the lens through which we see the world.”—from my journal May 1994

I sing along with the radio: “I can see clearly now, the pain is gone. I can see all obstacles in my way. All of the dark clouds have passed me by. I can see bright, bright sunshiny day.”

That is a song that brings tears to my eyes. It’s a song about recovery and healing. And it’s

been a long journey through so many kinds of healing for me. And so I am aware of how my own worries and wounds distort how I see John’s cancer and how I worry in this relationship.

Many people are afraid of cancer and many caregivers have the ongoing fear that their loved one will get sick, sicker, or die. This is not about turning a molehill into a mountain. This is not about turning a stomachache into cancer. But it is about cancer being really scary and threatening. 

But still, but even with that, how much do I lose my --and our --good life to my worries. At what point does reasonable fear become a greased slide into a truly old belief that I will be abandoned? How much do I assume that the worst things will happen because I am not enough?  How often do I set myself aside and wait for pain and grief to descend --and when they don’t I go and shake the fear tree to bring some fears so that I can have the familiar terror? Even on a good day that takes some sorting out.

This is about woundedness and beliefs. I am a woman of faith and I believe in a Higher Power but these other beliefs are something else. It’s a kind of dark belief in a lower power, and maybe this is a kind of blasphemy—but some days I wonder if I have created Gods of Woundedness that I worship and solicit even more than my God of love. Oh lord, I am so ready to relinquish that deity now. I’m ready to see clearly now and keep singing along.

Hard Blessings--Jewish Ways Through Illness

When, as patients, we hear our serious diagnosis, or when we are in the depths of a painful or scary treatment we need extra help. Caregivers too have their times of feeling, “I can’t keep doing this” or “I’m going to lose all of me while he/she is sick.” They need some extra help also. 

We know about diagnosis-specific support groups, and emotional support resources but we also need spiritual help. 

This week I read a beautiful book about spiritual support during illness in the Jewish faithHard Blessings—Jewish Ways Through Illness, by Susan Kaplow offers stories and practices from Judaism that can call us back to our faith during illness.

tradition. The book,

The book is beautiful is so many ways. It is consoling, reminding, encouraging and it is also a beautiful object to keep nearby. Susan Kaplow is writer, collector and she is a visual artist. The stories by Susan and other contributors are illustrated by Susan’s artwork.

This book can also be a help and a guide for people who are not Jewish. This book offers us a powerful example of how we can each integrate our spiritual beliefs into our healing and how we live with our illness or caregiving.

The place of hard blessing touches all of us, and we can all find inspiration in this beautiful book.

*****

Here is a link to the website for Hard Blessings-Jewish Ways Through Illness:

http://www.susankaplow.com/hard-blessings-by-susan-kaplow/

Christian Wiman and Bill Moyers on Love Faith and Cancer

Here, in the link below,  is a beautiful, provocative and inspiring short interview with Bill Moyers and the poet Christian Wiman. Wiman is a cancer patient and in this interview he is talking to Moyers about his writing, his marriage, his family and his faith through the lens of cancer.

This is a powerful piece and worth every minute of your time, and perhaps this is a link to share with family, friends and healthcare providers as well.

Here's the link:

http://billmoyers.com/segment/poet-christian-wiman-on-love-faith-and-cancer/