Tis the Season

Wedding season that is.

For the longest time our wedding was the last one we went to and then suddenly a big shift. We have been to three weddings since January and there are three more before July. Most are first time marriages and some are for the second time. But even the first timer's have to manage step-families and double and triple sets of parents and grandparents. That means that a lot of people have to "wear beige and shut up."

We have seen some extraordinary examples of well-blended families. One wedding--a second time--included the former spouses of the bride and groom and their spouses and everybody's kids. And everyone was genuinely happy. How does that happen? A lot of therapy? A lot of medication? And/or a lot of prayer and grace I think.

We are on our way to another wedding today. We hope this rain blesses them. No matter the weather I feel cheered by their belief in marriage and their willingness to celebrate with family and friends. And the bonus is that John and I  get to dance together again.

Zumba!

I am tired but energized by lots of exercise today. I went to a Pilates class and then on to a Zumba dance fundraiser. I had a small fantasy of dancing for hours but no. One hour of Zumba was plenty. But the nice thing about Zumba is the laughter—no mirrors, no perfectionism, no right and wrong just “keep moving”. It is a sexy exercise—Latin and African music, lots of hips swaying. Women of every size and shape which also inspires.

While I danced John watched football and did the grocery shopping. Yea! Now I’m working on a talk for caregivers coming up in December—can I bring that feeling of energy and acceptance I get at Zumba to cancer caregivers?

Tonight we have Veal Dorato and Graeters ice cream. It may undo the benefits of Zumba but it’s also time for pleasure—of all kinds.

San Antonio Dancing

We are back from a great vacation in San Antonio. It was a bit of everything: writing, speaking, learning, listening and play time. Part of the trip was a big conference and the best night included hours of dancing. Everything is big in Texas and that includes parties. In one hotel we went to three different ballrooms and danced in each one: Rock & Roll, Big Band and Texas Swing. We danced. No surprise that John is a good dancer even as he demurs—he’s an athlete and a musician so we danced to everything. Yeah, sometimes we had to make up our own moves but after a taste of Texas Swing I am determined to learn more.

The real treat of dancing that way though—and I’m guessing that swing dancers know this—is that the movement doesn’t stop when the music does. So even after stumbling-literally—to bed at midnight we kept reaching for each other all night and the dance continued.

Lessons from Drumming

In 1994 until 1996 I studied African dance and had the opportunity to dance with live drummers. It is the best way to dance—feeling the percussion as it enters the body not just the ears.

In my notes from 1994 I found this note to myself that I wrote down after an African dance class at Omega Institute. It says:

Listen for the beat under the beat.
Listen for the break—for the signs and signals that tell you to change or to stop what you are doing.

There is a dance lesson for the heart, for the lover and for making choices in a relationship.

At the Still Point

At the still point of the turning world. Neither flesh nor fleshless;Neither from nor towards; at the still point, there the dance is,But neither arrest nor movement. And do not call it fixity,Where past and future are gathered. Neither movement from nor towards,Neither ascent nor decline. Except for the point, the still point,There would be no dance, and there is only the dance.

(from TS Eliot, Burnt Norton II)