Cancer Movies: 50/50

Maybe like me, you have put off watching the 2011 comedy/drama called 50/50. I didn’t watch it for years because I thought it was either a sappy, tearjerker about cancer, or a gross, expletive-filled, Seth Rogen 20-something boy story. I didn’t know, and I didn’t realize, that it could be both.

We watched it last night and we laughed and cried. Yeah, John too. I am glad that I didn’t see this at the movies with friends though. Not because the cancer scenes cut so close to home but because there is one boy-to-boy discussion of their girl friends and certain sex acts that made me blush. If I saw this movie on a first date I’d leave the theater in sunglasses and go right home. (alone.)

But, we’re not dating, we’re married and we’ve done that sex act so I am laughing as as I type this, Ok it’s that funny.

And yes, Seth Rogen is mostly a pig but, a pig with a heart for friendship, good writing and insight into how guys talk and fight and love each other. Yeah, the movie is a love story and –spoiler alert—the love object is not Anna Kendrick. 

I would put 50/50 in my top three cancer movies. Check it out. But please, not on a first date. (And dear God, not with your in-laws.)

Making Love Once a Week Makes a Lot of Happiness

Here is an interesting bit of research on marital happiness and frequency of sex. Over the years you too have probably read articles that suggested that the more sex a couple has the happier their marriage will be. Well, maybe not.

Turns out that have sex once a week, regularly, weekly, can keep the bonds of matrimony grinning and intact. The Society for Personality and Social Psychology now confirms that marital happiness associated with having sex just once a week is just enough sex.

And it turns out that that sexy happiness is quite valuable: Investigators discovered there is a larger difference in happiness between people who had sex once a month compared to those making love once a week than there is between people with incomes in the $15,poo to $25,000 range and those in the $50,00 to $75,000 range.

So money won't make you any happier but making love will.

And in CancerLand we love having a weekly, loving goal. :)

Here is the full article:
http://psychcentral.com/news/2015/11/19/once-a-week-sex-may-be-optimal-for-content-couple/95065.html

You Gotta Laugh

At times like these--the combination of terrorism and chemotherapy--you just gotta laugh. And you do love the people who can bring humor to the oncology center or who can make a tsunami of lasagna seem funny.

I do challenge someone in CancerLand to write a humor handbook for patients and caregivers. (We know the professionals have their own dark humor-- don't worry, it's understood and professionally appropriate.) But still, don't you wish you had a joke up your sleeve or a trick in your bag?

Now you can. I want to share this totally uncancer resource today so you can have a grin or maybe if you are the friend or caregiver you can give this to a friend in CancerLand.

"Great American Humor" by Gerd De Lay--is that little compendium of little jokes. Kind of simple puns and one-liners and the stuff that old time speakers might have used to warm up an audience. This book has 1,000 jokes, witty sayings, and one-liners.

Don't know what to bring or send? Here it is. Awkwardness prevented. The day saved. Take a look.

It will make you smile too.

Hard Blessings--Jewish Ways Through Illness

When, as patients, we hear our serious diagnosis, or when we are in the depths of a painful or scary treatment we need extra help. Caregivers too have their times of feeling, “I can’t keep doing this” or “I’m going to lose all of me while he/she is sick.” They need some extra help also. 

We know about diagnosis-specific support groups, and emotional support resources but we also need spiritual help. 

This week I read a beautiful book about spiritual support during illness in the Jewish faithHard Blessings—Jewish Ways Through Illness, by Susan Kaplow offers stories and practices from Judaism that can call us back to our faith during illness.

tradition. The book,

The book is beautiful is so many ways. It is consoling, reminding, encouraging and it is also a beautiful object to keep nearby. Susan Kaplow is writer, collector and she is a visual artist. The stories by Susan and other contributors are illustrated by Susan’s artwork.

This book can also be a help and a guide for people who are not Jewish. This book offers us a powerful example of how we can each integrate our spiritual beliefs into our healing and how we live with our illness or caregiving.

The place of hard blessing touches all of us, and we can all find inspiration in this beautiful book.

*****

Here is a link to the website for Hard Blessings-Jewish Ways Through Illness:

http://www.susankaplow.com/hard-blessings-by-susan-kaplow/