Friday, November 11, 2011

My Turn to Worry?


Even as I write this I think, “Do you really need this to be about you?” But I flunked my blood tests. Again. Twice in one year. Well, not flunked exactly, but a C-minus. Not enough white blood cells. It’s called neutropenia. I Googled like crazy and sad to say, it’s a kind of boring disease. They use the word idiopathic a lot which basically means “Who the fuck knows”.

It’s not like leukemia—I went there first. I mean I came of age with Ali McGraw and “Love Story”, so every girl in her fifties remembers the dream to die so beautifully and with the perfect camel coat. No, leukemia is too many white blood cells. I have too few. It’s like low self-esteem of the blood cells. Figures.

Last year when my tests came back like this I was sentenced to six weeks of blood tests at the hematology center and the doc said, “Yep, you have low white blood cells.” So I’m not overly impressed.

But way, way in the back of my head is a little voice that whispers, “This is how it starts.”

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