Marrying Cancer

This morning I told him that I want to be married to him. We are both in the midst of divorces and my great fear is that there won’t be time. I am racing against New York State and the cancer clock. What if there isn’t time? If he dies and we are not married does it mean I will be the Other Woman for the rest of my life? Does it mean that what I have been with him is never valid? Never real? It is real to me of course. I believe it is to him too and I shouldn’t care what other people think. But I do. I do.