Kiss--It's That Simple

Here’s the research: If you want to be more sexually satisfied, kiss more!

Every study, every time shows that kissing is the essential building block of intimacy.

So how sad is it that kissing is the first thing to go after marriage even for couples that are having sex on a regular basis? Yes, sex without kissing; it happens. You know it. In the book “The Normal Bar” I read that, “the absence of kissing as an affectionate act could be a danger sign in a relationship.”

And this: “24% of men say their partners never kiss them outside of actual lovemaking.” But, I ask, how can it be lovemaking without kissing?

How do you get kissing back in your relationship? You have to be very deliberate about it. Maybe it feels fake or corny at first but it’s like making any new habit: Just do it for three or six or 10 weeks. Ellen Kriedman, my favorite relationship writer, says make a pact: kiss on every greeting and departure and one ten-second kiss every day. Time it: a ten-second kiss is a long kiss. Long enough to trigger the release of oxytocin—the love and intimacy hormone.

Your relationship is worth ten seconds a day. And it is so much cheaper than therapy.