Caregiving is complicated as we've discussed many times. And "sandwich generation" adult children have additional concerns and family issues that add another layer. But then sometimes we have to add in children--adult children--from previous relationships and it's quite a dance and very complicated.
Medical crises like cancer do not--as in the made-for-TV-movie--make everyone behave better or rise to a higher level of functioning. Rather cancer and fear and worry instead aggravate whatever tension is underlying and can bring a focus to old battles--but with new focus. "Mom always liked you best" gets replayed, and "Who do you think you are?" gets a spin and in stepfamilies the painful, "She shouldn't be with you" and "He's your husband not my father" might get said or played out with out words. Just a painful layer of complications.
With our Boomer demographic having such a high level of remarriage and therefore blended families we have to factor step children and step parents into the caregiving equation.
Here's an article from PsychCentral that reminds us of this serious concern:
http://psychcentral.com/news/2013/09/28/stepfamilies-can-add-to-caregiver-burden/60046.html
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