Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Keeping Desire Alive in A Long Relationship

I recently watched the TED Talk by Esther Perel- on the Secret to Desire in a Longterm Relationship and I was impressed by several things starting with: Perel is smart and funny and frank. And she's clear that lingerie and new positions are not at the heart of keeping desire alive.

The other thing that  hit home listening to this talk was her characterization of the erotic as opposite of death or trauma. We know that cancer is a trauma and cancer is death--whether one's diagnosis is terminal or not cancer simply brings death closer to both partners in a relationship. It could be that the emotional proximity of death is as much a cause of a waning sex life as the physical side effects that come with cancer. But it's also possible, I think, to channel that death charge--it's energy after all-- into a powerful erotic charge to bring great sex back.

I invite you to spend 20 minutes watching Perel's talk using the link below.

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