Valentine's Day

Oh readers you know that I have struggled—with cancer, kids, jealousy, fears, projections, and a fabulous habit of scaring myself to death over and over. Today I am basking in –and saying this so that I remember—we have a good marriage. My own little mind would undo that fact at the drop of a hat—or an email or a bill or a poor night’s sleep. But yesterday—Valentine’s Day—I got it.

Nothing fancy, nothing shiny—just a quick after work date with John—visiting the pastry shop where we met for years as friends who liked to talk about books and music. Yesterday we talked about the craziness and the courage of the past five years—and the pain we caused others and each other as our friendship became romance became commitment. Memories of sweet moments? Yes. Regrets? Yes. The grief and the gifts that cancer has given us? Absolutely yes.