How to Talk to a Cancer Patient

Oh, this one made me laugh today. The link below from McSweeney's is serious business but if you have spent time here in CancerLand you will be nodding as you read and you'll be laughing too.

The title of the article is: "How to Talk to a Cancer Patient Without Being a Complete Twit".

Yep, I've been on both side of this one. I've been the recipient and the twit.

This is a good link to share with friends, family and coworkers. Many future twits out there and we can save them that life.

Here's the link:

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/how-to-talk-to-a-cancer-patient-without-being-a-complete-twit

How Not to Say the Wrong Thing

Maybe you saw this fabulous article making the rounds on Facebook. OR maybe someone sent you the link or handed you the clipping. (In that later case read it twice because maybe there is a hidden message there for you.)

But I'm posting it here because it is simply smart and funny and true.

In CancerLand we know how it is to be on the receiving end of, "Dear God, did she really just say that?" kind of comments. But we also want to be careful that we are not the deliverer of such things either. And, given the stress and distortion of cancer, it's possible that out of love or pain or fear, we might say the screwiest things.

This fabulous article by Susan Silk and Barry Goldman  reminds friends and loved ones how to, as the title says, not say the wrong thing. But it goes to a place none have gone before--it adds this diagram to help you

determine whether you should say that thing you want to say to this person. Or maybe you can say it to some other person instead, or maybe just shut up and write in your journal or have a good cry.

The bottom line is: "Comfort IN. Dump OUT."

Here's the link to the article:
http://articles.latimes.com/2013/apr/07/opinion/la-oe-0407-silk-ring-theory-20130407

Take the time to click and read,  and do share this one like crazy.

Doing Battle with Cancer is Not Helpful

We have used this metaphoric language for so long that we may forget to ask if it is helpful. Often the war and battle language is used to motivate patients. And even in obituaries we read about winning and losing the war/battle/fight/with cancer.

But according to a research report by David Hauser at the University of Michigan, it turns out that, “Exposure to metaphoric language relating cancer to en enemy significantly lessens the extent to which people consider cancer-prevention and health promotion behaviors.”

This is so interesting. The power of language and the reality of unintended consequences.

What Hauser determined is that hearing the “metaphoric utterances” (he’s an academic) changes the way we think of the disease. “When we hear the phrase “Win the war on cancer,” it forces us to think of cancer as an enemy that we are at war with.” Well, yeah.

But his crucial point is this: War and battle language emphasizes taking aggressive action against cancer. But, most cancer-prevention behaviors, such as changing diet, curbing alcohol intake, limiting salt and not smoking involve “limitation and restraint.” Not fighting. Hence, according to Hauser, enemy metaphors de-emphasize those kinds of beneficial preventative behaviors and actually hurt people’s willingness to engage in them.

Kind of like, “If I had to I would kick cancer’s butt, but I’m not going to just use less salt.”

Here’s Hauser: “Constant exposure to even minor metaphorical utterances may be enough to make enemy metaphors for cancer a powerful influence on public health, with unfortunate side effects.”

Wow—there is the power of words, and the danger of words-even words used with positive intentions.

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*The full study will be available soon in a future issue of Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.