The Normal Bar as a Book for Two

It’s President’s Day weekend, and I am so grateful to have this long weekend with John. We have both been so busy with work, family, sports and community. We have not had much “couple time” in the last month, so this weekend we went to our favorite B&B in the Berkshires to read, sleep and make love.

For fun we took the new book, “The Normal Bar” with us and we took turns reading it and asking each other the questions about our relationship. One of the things that works well with this book is that it is well documented and based on thorough research so it seems to work for both men and women. There are enough facts to assure the suggestions are valid, and there are enough stories and anecdotes to engage a less literal reader. Hence both boys and girls can enjoy!

The tagline on the book says, “Surprising secrets of happy couples…” and there are some big surprises. Like what men want more of is: communication. And the authors mean hands-free communicationJ. Really. Of course they also document the correlation between better communication and better sex so bring on the talking!

But there is more than juicy sex tips in this book. Of course, sex sells so you have to mention sex and romance to sell a book, But how about this tip for a great marriage: comb your hair, put on a nice shirt and lose five pounds. Yes, according to the authors’ research with thousands of couples, letting yourself go--which starts in years six to 9—does big damage to marriages. And the remedies are simple; no plastic surgery needed: change clothes, add lipstick and shave on weekends.

Rest assured that there is plenty of good stuff on sex in this book. Want to know if your fantasies are normal? If his are? How important is oral sex? And how important is it to your partner if you have an orgasm? That’s here too. Just reading the book together turned up the heat on our winter weekend. Let’s just say we were a little bit normal and a little bit not.

As usual, we came away from the weekend touching more and laughing more and yes, reading together a whole lot more.

The Normal Bar for Happy Relationships

If you don't have a gift for your Valentine yet here's a suggestion that will give back over the next year. I've just started reading, "The Normal Bar--Surprising Secrets of of Happy Couples" and it is eye opening from the start. I'll be writing more about this juicy book over the next week.

You would expect great, well-documented information from the trio of authors: Chrisanna Northrup, Pepper Schwartz and James Witte. All great writers and accurate digesters of information who have a high skill to put research into relevant lay language.

This book is not about Cosmo quizzes and what works for your friend. It's longitudinal social science research translated into, "Try This!" And we can all use some of that.

And you might be thinking, "A relationship book as a Valentine's gift?" But yes...the only implied message is "I love you and I want more." But just to be on the safe side, add some dark chocolate.

Happy Valentine's Day!