Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Surgery--The Third Time Around

John is having his third surgery on Friday, and we realized today that we had made the same decision unbeknownst to each other: We decided to ignore it until Christmas is over.

The folder with paperwork is sitting on the desk, a little brochure with baffling diagrams and line drawings is unopened, the pre-op instructions are still in the envelope. Oh well.

It reminds me of what its like after the first baby. A friend who has three kids likes to say it this way: With baby one you breast feed for a year, sterilize everything, barely let anyone hold the baby but you. With baby two you breast feed for a few months and then open a jar of baby prunes, wipe off any spit up with your thumb and hand the baby to anyone near by. And with baby three—you bring them home from the hospital and put them on the floor and give them a pork chop.

So this is John’s “pork chop” surgery. On the 26th we’ll crack the code and pack our bags. His will have a few toiletries and a book; mine will have the caregiver notebook, snacks and phone numbers. And now I’ve added an I Pad and an IPhone, and the snacks have changed from Twizzlers and chocolate to almond butter, walnuts and kale chips.

It’s not that I care less this time but more that I’m so aware of what I cannot control. Some things will go worse than I hope and some things will go better than I expect and there will be surprises—always surprises. And there will be miracles—always miracles of people, and process and timing.

So tonight we’ll have Christmas Eve: first the Mall for amazing people watching, then Thai food for dinner, then a movie and then to church for the beautiful service at midnight.

On Christmas morning a blended bash of kids for breakfast and then to our true family holiday at Susan’s. Surrounded by all that love and laughter we’ll be fortified for Friday’s adventure.

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