We have been told over and over about making a will and
having a healthcare proxy and medical power-of-attorney. Often we put off
taking this important step because 1. It makes us think about death, but 2. It
makes us think about our relationships with family and friends.
In choosing an executor, proxy or power-of-attorney we face
hard facts about who we trust, who we share values with and the relationships
with those who might expect to represent us but we’d rather not. Tricky emotional
business. So we see another movie, read another article about Vitamin D and
think about retirement in a sunny place.
But really. If it’s hard to think about your death then
think about the torture for your kids and friends when they have to sort things
out or worst, guess at your medical preferences. It’s not just that paperwork after
all but the conversations you must have with those you designate. You have to
tell them—more than once --if you want lots of lifesaving measures, none at
all, or maybe a little bit of whatever the latest strategies are.
Recently a friend introduced me to a new and quite
comfortable way of going about this recording and conversing. It’s called “Five
Wishes” and it’s a simple mini workbook that lets you write down these five
things:
The person I want to make decisions when I can’t
The kind of medical treatment I want or don’t want.
How comfortable I want to be.
How I want people to treat me.
What I want my loved ones to know.
I’ll put the link below to the Five Wishes website so you
can learn more but just think about those five items listed above. If you have
been a caregiver or a waiter in a hospital waiting room, wouldn’t you have
loved to know some of that from the patient—beforehand? Give your loved ones
that gift.
The mini Five Wishes workbook—or just those questions listed
above also make a great family dinner conversation, an add on to your book
group, and definitely something to bring up when your doctor says, “So do you
have any other questions?”
No comments:
Post a Comment