Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Visiting the Hospital

Tonight I went to St. Peters to visit a friend. I was listening to a book on CD so it only hit me later--in the elevator--that I had clicked through the winding road, the valet parking, the coffee stop in the lobby, and the maze of elevators and then Oh! I knew my way without thinking. That's good news and bad.

I think what woke me up were the faces of other visitors--that stunned look. And that ashy "been here too long" look of families who don't know if it's night or day. I ache for them. It's a privilege and a luxury to be visiting a friend and to know that --this time-- it's not my family.

I learned my way around ICU years ago when everyone in my family was so sick. Then I  was one of those numb, scared, ashy people. It shaped my life absolutely and gave me a passion and fierceness about caregivers. But still. I was grateful tonight that it wasn't me. Not my turn. Not now.

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