Tuesday, September 6, 2011

What Friends Don't Tell Each Other

Part of why it takes so long to learn how to make sex good is that we don’t talk about it enough. Now that may seem crazy if you think about the number of times sex is mentioned in movies, magazines and on TV. But really talk about it? Not so much.

Think about your closest gal pals and what you know about them and what they know about you. We’re told how hard it is to talk about money. Do you know how much your friends make? If they have family money? The amount of debt they have?

And what about your friend’s spiritual life: Do they believe in God? Do you know who prays and when and how?

Money and God is a lot of intimate info to know about a person. And then there is sex.

Now the odd thing is that you may know about some really personal stuff about your closest friends. You know about the difficult childhood and the deep wounds carried from parents or siblings. You may know about family illnesses: mental illness and addiction and alcoholism. You talk about the secret shames of the workplace, the tensions in marriages, the pain from breakups. You may even know about the secret surgeries---the eye job her husband doesn’t even know she had on your “girl’s weekend”. But do you know if she does Kegels?

Yeah Kegels. How could a close friend not talk to her closest women friends about Kegels? Do you do yours? Does she do hers? Have you talked about how much better sex is with a regular Kegels routine?

And masturbation. We believe that we are free, open minded and liberal but have you ever told a woman friend that you had a great time—alone—after a stressful week at work? Do you know if she prefers erotica and what kinds?

Imagine your best friend in the world and the parts of her life you don’t know about. And start talking. Everyone will be happier.

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