Thursday, February 12, 2009

What I Don't Want to Say

In my writing classes I often give this assignment as an exercise; Write what you don’t want to say. This morning as I begun to blog I find myself thinking, “I can do this later” and “I’m just not inspired today.”

But I take my own medicine. Here goes:

What I don’t want to say is that I am discouraged. I don’t want to say that it’s almost Valentine’s Day and even though I’m 55 and way to cool for that Hallmark marketed sentimentality to matter it does matter. I don’t want to say that I hate being the other woman and I don’t want to say that I’m beginning to wonder if this will be a long relationship or a transition. I don’t want to say that I feel hurt that he is not doing more to make future plans. I really don’t want to say that some days I want to marry him and some days I ask myself if I want to marry because I’m crazy about him or do I just want to win the point? Or make the story come out right? I don’t want to say that I miss my husband and think about all the things that we had in common. I don’t want to say that what I miss most about being married is being able to take that other person for granted; to know that I can look like crap, be inconsiderate and still be loved.

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