Saturday, April 26, 2014

How to Cut Out Resentment

The centerpiece of caregiving is control. And yes, control is about fear. If I can only control, well, everything, then I can assure we’ll be safe. Even knowing better it is still there.

But control, of course, leads to resentment, and resentment leads to even more discomfort—and to obsession. So we don’t want that. But it’s tricky. Resentment is like tar paper –so sticky. I learned a way out of resentment though. Here is a practice that a friend gave me to try with a person who challenges you. Here is what she suggested:

Early in the morning or late at night—when you can imagine that the other person is sleeping—visualize your highest or best self –the one who is wise and compassionate, and visualize that best part of you going to visit the troublesome person during their sleep. See your higher self using a pair of beautiful golden or jeweled scissors to cut the cord that attaches you to that person. See the cord that connects you falling away. And then allow your highest self to bless that person, allow the blessing to fall on your self too, and then see your higher self return home to you. Say thank you.

Do this visualization as many times as you can over two weeks and you will find that your resentment or struggle with that person will lessen or disappear.

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