One of the most stressful challenges for caregiving and cancer is dealing with the people who love you and the person you care for. Just updating everyone and talking to people about what is happening can be exhausting. If you have been there you know that, “Let me know what you need.” does not help. You are often so tired that you don’t think clearly or you’d say: get the dry-cleaning, make sure there is milk in the fridge, walk my dog, and let me cry. But you are too tired to be this direct and you feel uncomfortable asking for the small but actually most helpful things.
There are two free caregiving websites that offer caregivers a way to keep friends and family updated—and they are yours only not public. These sites have a calendar device so your team can see what is happening and the list of needs can be posted and assigned thru the websites. Here is the trick: If you are the primary caregiver do not be the host of the site. Pick one competent helper and you talk to them and them only. They will post the needs list and the calendar. It’s human nature but it’s often easier for someone to say “Max needs milk once a week” rather than “I need milk”. I know we are supposed to be able to ask for what we need, but hey this is CancerLand, when we leave here we can all go to therapy and assertiveness workshops in our free time.
The websites to check out are:
LotsaHelpingHands.com
SharetheCare.org
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